So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
