Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
