took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he puts the penis in happiness.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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