She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
