New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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