you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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