If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize