dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
