last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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