ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
