he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
