No stitches, just platelets and will power
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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