Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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