Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk is not a location!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
