I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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