i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
