i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
