Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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