who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
