I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
