I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize