It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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