"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
