after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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