I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
