Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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