Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
