so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
