Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
