Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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