She said her name was "party"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
