these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize