Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
