So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
