I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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