Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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