I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
