Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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