I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
wow bdsm is so cute
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
