Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
