my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
