i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
