so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
did you just send me my own nude
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
