Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize