i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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