oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she smelled like a LAN party
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
