A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
