well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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