she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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