I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
