i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
