She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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