i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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