When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
