Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
