A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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