I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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