Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
