have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
