I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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