i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this boner is exhausting
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
