I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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