There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Don't make out with my wife yet
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize