Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
