Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
